So, apparently I’m blogging again. No one is more surprised by this than me. The reason I stopped in the first place was to protect myself.
Last spring, people suddenly collectively realized, as if we had just magically appeared, that trans people exist and also use public restrooms. It’s not as if I hadn’t dealt with transphobia before, but I had never felt the weight of it like this before. I used to have this optimistic belief, at least on some level, that people were basically reasonable, that they could be swayed by logical, well-substantiated arguments and evidence. Like I was swayed when I started questioning the things I had been taught while growing up.Read More »
I’ve been seeing some improvement in my needle phobia since I started on T a few months ago (via intramuscular injection every other week). I’m still not able to give myself the injections, but I’m slowly working up to it.Read More »
I haven’t been posting very often for the past month or so. Thing is, I’ve been pretty overwhelmed with my college courses (even though I’m only taking 9 hours), and I’m not coping as well as I had been. My depression seems to be getting worse again. Hopefully it’s mostly just a stress thing… but I am noticing some things that tend to be red flags for things going downhill. Like wanting to cut myself, randomly thinking about suicide (non-obsessively, without intent), missing classes, and feeling like everything is starting to fall apart and I am going to fail everything, forever.Read More »
I’m taking a course on human sexuality this semester. I figured any issues I had with the course be would due to my ace-ness and sex repulsion, but I was wrong. By far, the things that have bothered me the most relate to my being trans. The textbook is more than a little bit cissexist.Read More »
One of my classes involves a lot of discussion. I have an obviously masculine name, which has been used to name me many times over the course of the semester. We have also all done oral presentations. No one has given me any sort of problem with my name or appearance all semester, and people generally identify me as male over 90% of the time, anyway. I can almost take it for granted that people will perceive me as male. So when a couple of people referred to me using feminine pronouns during the class discussion today, I wasn’t sure I’d heard them right.Read More »
I’m only being half sarcastic with the title. It is awesome to finally be on testosterone, despite all my particular issues. In fact, I was so excited about starting T, I almost forgot to be anxious about getting stabbed with a needle, though I do have to wonder if my psych meds are actually helping with my anxiety like they are supposed to.Read More »
I finally got my T. It was a pain in the ass to deal with, but several people on my campus were awesomely helpful.
I don’t feel like writing a post about the whole process.