Anhedonia is Fun

No, anhedonia is really not fun. Like, that’s the definition of anhedonia. Not fun. It’s what happens when you try to do the fun things… and then the fun things are not fun.

It’s one bit of depression that has just been hounding me lately. At least during the week, it was harder to notice. If you’re having difficulty having fun, you tend to notice it a lot less when you’re waiting for a lecture to end than when you are playing video games. But now it is the weekend. Yay…

No. Not really yay.

I also have this thing where I tend to suddenly lose interest in something while in the middle of doing it. So… I’ve got a couple of half finished posts sitting around. But this post is the sort of post where I can just half finish it and then post it anyway. So I’m going to do that. And then also throw in some random links. Specifically, to Hyperbole and a Half’s Adventures in Depression. You should go read it. Right now. There is even a sequel. And it has awesome drawings!

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2 thoughts on “Anhedonia is Fun

  1. I hope you feel better soon! (I hope that’s not offensive.) When I first started high school I was extremely depressed (I don’t tell many people this) but the reason I got out of my depression was because of meditation and my new outlook on life. I want to thank you for sharing your experiences because it makes me feel better that I wasn’t alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I understand anhedonia very well. I’ve gone for years without a real depressive episode but periods of anhedonia definitely arose. I used to call it “getting in a funk.”

    The worst part of depression is that the norm for me is being highly self-motivated and disciplined. For years, I worked for myself. It was not unusual for me to have several concurrent projects going, including personal, not paid, work that was entirely self-motivated. When I fell into a deep depression a few years ago, I couldn’t seem to finish anything. It was really hard to explain to people that it took me all day to do a simple task like go to the grocery store. People would say, what are you spending your days doing. It was hard to answer because in some ways it was normal, but everything took longer. Showering, making breakfast, dressing.

    I made pretty elaborate Halloween costumes for my sister and myself last year. I was absurdly proud of myself because it was the first big, self-motivated, project I finished in years. It was a little weird to realize that other people didn’t realize quite what a big accomplishment it was. At the same time, Halloween wasn’t quite as thrilling as it was in past years, but I did enjoy it.

    That Hyperbole and a Half comic is great. I saw it a few years ago. At the same time, I never had that revelatory moment, either like the one in the video store or the one where she looks under the fridge. For me, it’s been more like a gradual passing. The one positive thing, however, is that I put more value on my own emotional well-being than I did before.

    Liked by 1 person

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