Book Challenge

A while back, I wrote a post about a challenge given to me by a Christian proselytizer on my campus. If I read a book of their choice, they would read one of mine. Unfortunately, they never replied back to me after I emailed them, so it never happened. I don’t know what happened there. Maybe they changed their mind. Maybe the email got lost. No way to tell. But I was pretty disappointed about it, after having put a significant amount of effort into selecting a book.Read More »

Mental Health Update

Content Note – Discussion of suicidal ideation

So… I worked out a lot of the stress things that I was freaking out about that were exacerbating and exacerbated by my depression. It felt like everything was magically okay again! For about a day. Even now I’m feeling much less overwhelmed, I’m still not doing so great. I find it very difficult to really get into, well, anything. The video games I usually play for fun now feel like a chore half the time. This kind of defeats the purpose of video games, and is also depressing. When I read blog posts and stuff, I sometimes just suddenly lose interest halfway through. Satisfying my hunger feels like this annoying chore, now, and I put it off like one, too. Unless it involves buying tasty/unhealthy food, in which case I crave all the tasty things. Except that I cannot figure out what the tasty things I want are, because I’m tired of all the stuff I usually get and can’t think of other things I might enjoy (at least, none that are easily accessible).Read More »

Mental Health Fun-ness, HRT, and Uncertainty

I haven’t been posting very often for the past month or so. Thing is, I’ve been pretty overwhelmed with my college courses (even though I’m only taking 9 hours), and I’m not coping as well as I had been. My depression seems to be getting worse again. Hopefully it’s mostly just a stress thing… but I am noticing some things that tend to be red flags for things going downhill. Like wanting to cut myself, randomly thinking about suicide (non-obsessively, without intent), missing classes, and feeling like everything is starting to fall apart and I am going to fail everything, forever.Read More »